What is Drastic + Dramatic

Friday, December 04, 2009

entirely unique

At times my thoughts wander around the world, strolling at a casual pace, thinking:
"It is easy to say truthfully, 'somewhere in the world there are always at least two people:
drinking.'
talking on a cell phone.'
sneezing.'
driving.'
kissing.'
dying.'
staring out a window.'
going to the bathroom.'
stretching.'
bending over.'
making a new person.'
learning something new.'
eating.'
getting wet unexpectedly.'
-----------------------in the very moment that I think of it."
And every time I think of at least two people in the world sneezing I further imagine that that's what makes the world go 'round.
That if everyone stopped sneezing, the world would stop spinning; hence the seasonal allergies, for assured rotation year 'round.
And, every time I hear someone sneeze, I think of the world spinning
without me remembering that it's spinning,
and my thoughts begin to stroll at its remembered spinning:
mind inhaling passing thoughts,
(the world moves me while I'm sitting still)
like recollected air passing into lungs.

Then I think, "It's not easy to say truthfully, 'somewhere in the world there are always at least two people:
thinking of you.'
thinking of me.'
driving a school bus in 9 degree bitterness while 3 high school band members talk much too loudly for the morning hour and temperature.'
receiving an unwanted phone call from their disapproving roommate about rent money.'
making chicken curry for a third date meal.'
tired of Utah and wanting to move to New York to be a nanny for two three-year-old french twins.'
-----------------------in that very moment that I think of it."
Then my thinking catches back up to my doing and off I go.
Until someone sneezes again.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Giving Thanks

I have posted a few lists of my favorite and least favorite things, but never have I posted a list of things for which I am most grateful. Probably because when I've started lists like that before in other journals it's been very very lengthy. So....since it's the 26th day of this month, I'll limit my list tonight to 26 things.

1. God and all things that under Him fall.
Oh, that could take care of everything, huh? But I mean all those godly things: Jesus, the atonement, forgiveness, the Bible, revelation, temples, prophets, the Book of Mormon, testimony, faith, love, patience, learning, gospel clarity, understanding, etc. See.....
2. Mom, Dad, Shawna, Aaron, Autumn, Brian, Caleb, Cameron, Heather, Jason, Breanne, Grandmas, Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles, cousins.
3. Friends
4. Health
5. A job
6. Food
7. Talents
8. Internet and countless modern conveniences
9. School
10. Books and writing
11. Deep thinking and people watching
12. Lessons learned
13. Showers and soap and stuff
14. Clothes
15. Many fulfilled wants
16. Imagination and inspiration
17. Compliments
18. Humor and laughter
19. Opportunities and adventure
20. Meeting people
21. Being easily pleased and entertained
22. Vacation
23. Exercise
24. Freedoms
25. Passing Math
26. Things to smile about

Sooo much to give thanks for. And to whom? I give it to number 1. He's the Man...well, sorta. He's more the God. But you get what I mean. I feel I don't deserve it all, when I see what others have not... Give thanks and give.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Museless.


Muse,
You were. . .amusing.
Sometimes you tickled.
Sometimes you ticked me off.
Other times you reached
so far down my throat
I would gag and
What came out wasn't pretty.
Many times it seemed
You were tangled in my guts.
Somehow you figured you could
steer inspiration from there.
Well anyway, it all worked.
For then.
But now, well . . .
We need to talk.
I want you out,
to be frank.
I need a new Muse
and he's going to rent your space
so you can't be here anymore.
This is the last poem, I hope,
that you will inspire.
Thanks for everything.
We can still be friends.
So . . . Take care.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Tuneless Song

A long time ago I wrote this, while listening to Keane's CD Hopes & Fears. I've been meaning to transcribe it..

Goodbye Kiss

There's a place in my mind
I come to through my heart.
You come there, too. It resides
in your mind as well, this place,
But you won't go often
because in your mind I'll always
be there, a memory to start
That you want to end.

When you see me, I smile.
You don't move your face,
But your eyes trace me.
I move to the blanket you
laid out. I sit and wait.
Here is when you leave
most often. If you sit
you stay.
Only we share this place
and you hate
That you can't erase me
and send me away.

Then why don't you tell me what's wrong?
Tell me, what don't I see?
You pretend that you belong
without me.

Lingering this time
you sit and stay.
I see all the shooting stars;
you look at me like that. . .
I wonder why you don't
just tell me
what's in your heart.
You hold it back and me
at the same time.
I still can't read still lips,
so I lend them a kiss.

This good night's kiss
made you leave.
And I can't change the memory
but this may be the last time
you find me
sitting here when you come,
if you come, again.

So why don't you tell me what's wrong?
Tell me, what don't I see?
You pretend that you belong
without me.

I think you miss me
I think you need me
You know it's true
but you won't tell me.
You will erase me.

But first can you tell me
what's wrong?
Tell me, what don't I see?
You pretend that you belong without me.

Why don't you tell me what's wrong
With you?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Doubt, Dear Lady


I just wrote this poem for my English Literature class. It's based off a line in the novel we just read, Jane Eyre. Here is how I prefaced the poem in my essay:

The story goes, that our heroin, Jane, is returning to a former home and to her, a former life, after having hastily abandoned it a year prior. She sought her old master, Mr. Edward Rochester, whom she loved more than can quite justifiably be explained in a couple words of a sentence. Only reader of the whole story can understand Jane’s devotion and unique connection to this man twenty years her elder.
As she reaches the end of her return journey, entering the town nearest his home, she has the temptation to inquire what has become of Mr. Rochester and what she might expect before walking the last two miles to his home. Suspended in hesitation she rightfully counsels herself thus:
“I so dreaded a reply that would crush me with despair. To prolong doubt was to prolong hope” (490).

Soft the look in thy down-turned eye,
Aye, softer the color in cheek;
Pale is the hope, that would shine
Through thy smooth skin,
Compared to thy will to seek
Thy lover’s gaze once again.

Waiting soon tires of sitting
So pacing the lane you begin;
An embrace would be better fitting
As nourishment for mind
And body, rendered so thin
By worry that has thy brow lined.

From my window I see thee;
Oui, ma cherie, qui tu cherches est là.*
My own gaze impossible to free
From thy soliloquizing form.
Would that thy eyes I could draw
To mine; Calm thy inner storm.

A man approaching upon steed
You recognize not, for sure,
Eyes lowered further indeed
Thy tears to be concealed.
My own servant on horse it were;
To thee, truth could he have revealed.

But to ask would require thought,
To form a question you dare not;
And fear of the answer bought
Thy silence and delayed discovery;
The hope for which thou hast fought,
Suspended, caged, in thy reverie.

Doubt, dear lady, doubt on.
Let no voice but mine
Enter thy tired ear anon;
My touch only convince thee
That for thee as well I pine.
Hold doubt ‘til thy hope I set free.


It was very fun to finally write a poem that directly stemmed from another author's work. Usually I merely inhale floating ideas and run with them, but this one had to be written and I'm glad I got it out...even with a rough rhyme scheme.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Just FYI

All the edits I did on my poems I just pasted over the old poems, so if you wanted to reread them, oh faithful followers, the new and hopefully improved versions are now on display for your endless enjoyment.
About Time
Crackers
Recipe For Fail-Proof Invisibility (formerly known as See Through)
What's Mine is Yours (actually this one didn't change since I thought it was already as near to perfection as I could possibly squeeze out)
Empty
Easy Come

I'll think of something else to let loose on here soon. I'm pretty busy with a lot of school writing and other homework. And I'm actually doing most of it, believe it or not.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Easy Come


Lungs allow air to enter and exit
mindlessly.
First we are born
and they get to work
For the rest of a lifetime.

The sky allows itself to absorb
and drain water.
First the sun scoops it up
then it falls for a while.
A rhythm to recycle.

The heart allows love to enter and exit
not easily,
but sometimes too easily.
Not entirely unlike blood
It flows, within and out
For a lifetime.

Love expands,
Deeper than oceans or breaths.

Her heart can't exhale.
Not because he fainted, needed heart to heart, or died
(For she could have done something then).
He just got tired. Or She did.
Perhaps she got light-headed,
Or he was soaking wet.

A lung that can't breathe out,
Or a cloud that endlessly orbits the world.
Is that possible?

Not easily.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Lost and Found

When the kids in the back of the bus all stand up and start freaking out about something, usually they don't sit down until I physically go back there and figure out what's going on and how I can save the day. Today, one of the littlest apparently had been chewing on a paper towel and it must have been ripped from his playful jaws, for the surge of attention today was directed at a suddenly bloody hole in his gums. He lost a tooth. His mouth hung open, wider than his shocked eyes. I asked if he wanted a paper towel and he nodded absently, drool gathering, eyebrows furrowing, mind preoccupied with where his missing tooth could be. I got him a new, clean paper towel to collect the drool with and I ordered the show to be over and pockets to touch the seats and faces forward. We were off. When the kids were dropped off, and the bus parked in its cozy spot, and I was sweeping, I noticed that the high schooler that had brought a box of Nerds on the bus hadn't gotten them all in her mouth, and every pink one caught my eye, in case the little one's tooth was perhaps slightly bloody. A couple seats into the sweep I saw a tiny rounded rectangle in the corner. I slipped it into my pocket and continued sweeping up surprising amounts of nerds, random beads and lots of paper bits, but gratefully, no bloody, drooly paper towel. I have prepared a gift for the little one, for when he boards the bus tomorrow morning. He will be one tooth richer, although still one tooth down . . .




Also today I had an exciting thought. How cool would it be to have a traveling board meeting, where all your business was discussed around a fine table, sitting in cushy chairs -- all bolted to the open trailer bed behind a big rig, cruising down the highway at 70 mph? Paper weights would be your most valued office accessory. And a good hair scrunchy, for girls.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Empty



Just a girl in her empty boat
Floating hardly beyond the rocks,
Ocean licking, looking for a way in.
Without a paddle the waves steer
Her and her half walnut shell
Along nutcracker cliffs.
She lays her body in the bottom,
Palms pressed into the side
Of her empty boat.
From a wood-framed view
She sees clouds in the sky
Pitching to and fro
Turning darker, churning.
Their juices spill on her skin
And the ocean spits on her clothes.
Eyes closed she does not see
The rock that wounds the wood,
Ocean bleeding into her bed,
Emptiness filling
From above and below.
Body pressed and still,
Water replaces air
In her empty boat.
The flood tries to refill
The dry riverbed of tears
Mapped upon her cheeks
Pooling gently on lidded eyes
Until the wet wraps her whole.
Eyes open she can see
What a fish must see
When it looks to the rim
Of its empty bowl
Filled with water.
She watches the ocean surface
Blend into the sky
Until water replaces air
In her empty lungs.
Welcomed to the calm ocean floor
Just the girl in her empty boat.



(note to those who may worry: this is not a literary reflection of my personal inner workings at this time.
Another note: I will be submitting certain pieces of writing to that Touchstones magazine at my school again, and I'd like to have your editorial notations and suggestions for any of my more recent musings into poetry, What's Mine is Yours, Crackers, See Through, and About Time. And please, if you have suggestions for this one, Empty, please make your notes! And tell other people you know that like to read to read them too and make their comments, because I don't have an editor, so you will be my eyes and ears to what I don't see or hear 'off' with my pieces. For example, I already think with this Empty piece, that I might delete the first line or the last two lines, or change some of the words throughout. So as you can see I'm open to your suggestions! Thanks beautiful readers!)

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

I will lead you along


I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;
And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

Be thou humble, and the Lord they God shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.

(Doctrine & Covenants 78:17-18; 112:10.)
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