What is Drastic + Dramatic
Friday, March 19, 2010
Well, the time has come to clarify. I recently posted some words attempting to reflect some of-the-moment feelings about men. It definitely came across as man-hating and woman-worshipping, some wordy stuff that I don’t even believe in myself. At the time I had been hurt, so I lashed out. I think we’re all entitled. And you are also entitled to think and say and comment whatever you want.
Here’s something else: I love men. I absolutely love men. The idea of men, manly things, muscles, voices, smells, mannerisms, etc. I love my grandpa, I love my dad, I love my guy friends, I even appreciate ex-boyfriends. I truly believe woman is not complete without the man as the man is incomplete without the woman.
But let me just say here that both are genuinely priceless individually. And I believe that always, no matter my mood.
Then we all know that each gender has its quirks. Then each person has a personality and character. All these things are, in my opinion, pieces of the mosaic that make up this tectonic world. The world is beautiful and active and progressive because of individuals and their tendencies and their choices. We all need each other, we each have our needs, we express our feelings, we long to share those feelings with others sometimes.
There’s plenty I could say about women. The day after I wrote that Randomblings about men not deserving women, I made a whole list of why women are trouble and how they need men just as much, if not more, as men need women.
I won’t give examples, because those too will come off as generalized and not applicable to everyone underneath a blanket statement.
Here’s what I think. Humans have desires to trust and to love. Those develop through relationships, which develop through experiences, which traverse countless paths of connecting lives.
A lot of learning can happen with every experience. Sometimes we learn the biggest lessons from our hardest choices, our deepest pits, our indescribable feelings, our thickest fears. Sometimes it’s from the tiniest glance or the lightest touch or the faintest sound that we feel or learn the most.
It’s personal. Until it’s personal, it’s someone else’s. We want personal. We want to learn, we long to experience, we desire, we crave, we plunge into experience.
Sometimes we desire that personal part of ourselves to include another. Like the gears of a clock, any move we make, they move too. And, on for a while, one experience moves two people, two people move one life. The tick and tock of two hearts, defying time and reason: love is an ultimate experience.
Love is a timeless experience.
That is why, when it’s gone, sometimes it feels like you’ve never moved, even if you’ve crossed the whole world a thousand times, even if you’ve left it entirely and come back.
That is why, when you’re in it, you can’t wait.
That is why, when you’re living in it, you can experience, grow old, and die and it still holds you as though you were just born.
The time it takes to learn what love is, is the time experience travels from the head to the heart. No one can tell you what you’re feeling, you will learn that as time goes on. Like me, you’ll make plenty of mistakes and maybe regret a few choices. But that’s the way I needed to learn, and I am glad it took some time to learn the right way for me to learn love. And I suspect I’ll have yet more to learn. All the time.
There is no rewinding love, there is no return to love. At every moment, love is present or absent. The more often it is present, the more one can build on love, making relationships, understanding, forgiving, loving anew.
I say anew, because, well…For example, I loved a boy and I really liked the way I loved him. But that ended, or at least, it was suspended for quite some time. I realize, now that the love for him is gone, absent, that if I were to love him again, it would have to be a new love. That’s what I mean when I say there is no return to love. (Not that if you feel without love that it's beyond relocating, no, not ever.) Love fits in hearts, not in time. People fit into both…
Am I wrong? Maybe I’m wrong again. I do not mean to say that love is lost at every new moment. No, love builds, love wanes, love is very active. It’s just that it is not bound by time in any way. It is as gravity, a law immovable, but with a flexible understanding. Airplanes thrust into the air and gravity is not changed. There are ways into love, out of love, around love…but love will always be.
That is how it is timeless, that is how I believe it waits. It waits for us to gain experience and to learn what it feels like within us. Then it can propel us in any direction, out of any depth, through any fear, into another’s arms.
In case anyone reads this, know that I believe in love. I believe it takes work and that that labor refines the worker. The final product of a life well experienced with love is that heart of gold we all seek. In ourselves and in any other.
Life is about timing. Love is the experience of a lifetime.
Monday, March 15, 2010
This evening I walked about 2 miles to eat dinner at a place called The Thai House. Boy was it worth-it good!
I went by myself because I don't really have a friend here, or anyone's phone number....but whatever, I just wanted to eat. I walked through Oriental town pretty much, every sign was first in some asian language and sometimes not even in English after that. Let it be known that the entire two miles showed no place selling ice cream. I kinda want some ice cream that is not McDonalds, because, let it be believed!, McDonalds is gross. Anyway, I felt safe, as I walked the 6 PM streets to The Thai House because I figured, not many inhabitants of this area would have many animalistic desires triggered by seeing a six-foot white girl.
I made it to the google address intersection and followed the directions to the right, which took me around the entire block and led almost back to that intersection before I got to the restaurant. Yay google. Anyway, I was greeted by a very large Thai smile and put at a table by myself. I looked at the menu and was excited to get me some Thai. I came across the Satay item and was surprised to see two options: 4 chicken skewers or 4 Osrtrich skewers! I asked to get two skewers of each and the waitress said yes. Sweet.
Ostrich was awesome! Well, at least the way they skewered it. As advertised, it tasted very "free range" and it was tender. It was like...a lamb and a rabbit got married, had a kid and then later, a cow married that hybrid kid and together they had a kid = Ostrich meat. Kinda ducky, too. Like a birdy beef. Yeah. I liked it. The chicken as well was super succulent and divine, and the peanut sauce they served it with was classically delish. They also served it with a sweet, clear sauce (I tried in vain to guess any of its ingredients) loaded with cucumbers, carrots and sweet, red onion. That was tasty.
Then came the yellow chicken curry. Big chunks of perfect carrots and potatoes, strips of tender chicken, and a creamy, spicy sauce that is just too good to be true. Those Asians really know their spices. Whew. Added to that, a side of rice. It was amazing, cuz they either cooked it in or soaked it in coconut milk so it had added flavor and pizzaz for the love of coconut. I love coconut.
After having eaten such amazing food, I was sad to have gone alone. I love when someone can share good food with me! And I love that feeling when, having eaten food so good, of really wanting to tip, to really give money to the restaurant because they earned it, bordering on sponsoring the restaurant in a community event. Too bad I don't fit into the community and might do more harm than good promoting it. ;) So, instead I'm blogging about it. Best next thing. (Their website has a few recipes on it, take a look!)
So, if you're ever in the Vancouver area, give it a try. Keep your eye out for the Ostrich!