What is Drastic + Dramatic

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

New Age Dating Rules

These are rules I've heard of, seen, experienced, etc. that seem to rule the world of dating or just as general rules. Of course this is not an exhaustive compilation. Please feel free to add other rules, since these days really anyone is free to make them as they please.

1. Do not double text before receiving a reply.
2. Guys, do not text a girl until two days after getting her number.
3. Girls, do not text a guy before he texts you if he has your number.
4. Do not text someone who doesn't know you have their number.
5. Do not text what you can't fit in less than three texts.
6. Text when you can't give your full attention to a person, but don't tell them that.
7. When in doubt, don't push send.
8. Do NOT assume that because someone hasn't replied that they don't like you. (But don't rule it out completely, either.)
(Don't forget that assuming in general only makes an ass out of u and me.)
9. If someone only ever replies with a maximum of seven words, they aren't interested in receiving much more than that from you.
10. Emoticons do not clear up much. For example, in a text, "yeah right" can be read approximately 85 different ways. Adding :op or :-) or ;) still reads approximately 85 ways, no matter how many you add.
11. Texts do not clear up much, in general.
12. DTRs should not be texted.
13. Do not text and drive. Drive and drive.
14. Remember if = he and me = of.
15. The after date thank you text. Something about it... Not sure why it's necessary.

1. Do not request a friend that isn't your friend yet that hasn't mentioned to you that they are on facebook.
2. When a person mentions they are on facebook, they want you to look for them.
3. If you have gone on a date with someone...better not to add them as a friend at all, actually.
4. Do not add or even message a friend because you saw them tagged in a friend's picture and you thought they were cute.
5. Do not mix up "what's on your mind" with your reply to what someone wrote on your wall.
6. Do NOT leave yourself logged in and then leave the computer.
7. Don't take quizzes. Just don't. Please.
8. When in a relationship, don't write on each other's walls. If you're away from each other, message or call, or do anything but write on each other's wall. Come on.
9. Remember who your friends are...sometimes one is your mother, or old bishop. Just don't forget who you've added.

1. Did you want a lasting relationship?

Internet dating sites:
1. Meet in public, then release your number if he/she is not insane.
2. Wink, poke, nudge, flirt...if you're lame.
3. Realize it sucks. No one that you think you might be interested in will be interested in you.
4. Don't describe yourself. That's not really who you are. Nor is your picture really doing you justice. Or, it's unjustly representing what you look like in person.
5. If he/she says no, don't push it. We already know you're desperate. You're online.

Craig's List:
1. Are you kidding? Do not use as a dating service. The end.

1. Really? Who cares. If they care that much, they probably live with you already and they don't need to go online for the update.

If you fancy someone, go for it. Worst they can say is no. Well, sometimes it might be worse that they say yes, but you'll never know if you don't try.

And, remember, Edward isn't real.


Aaron said...

Thank goodness Edward isn't real!

Edit your post and number each set of rules. Then it will be easier for me to tell you which ones I agree with, disagree with, have broken, etc.

Aaron said...

As for texting, I've probably broken rule 1. Shame on me. I don't agree with rule 2--such formalities are unnecessary. I've also broken number 13 frequently! I better stop...one of these days it'll get me in trouble.

Facebook: I often break #1. It's okay though, I've made friends doing it. It's always mutual friends of existing friends. Along those same lines, I've also broken #4 without any negative consequences. :) I find it amusing when people fall prey to #5. I agree with #7 soooo strongly! I block every single quiz that pops up. If people take too many, I just hide them from my wall. Also agree on 8 and 9.

Twitter? That is one I'll never join. So stupid.

Good list of rules, sis!

emilyf said...

Yeah, I don't agree with them all, and I've broken 'em all probably.

Michael said...

Very well done. But Edward ... Really?

emilyf said...

Hate to break it to you, my fine gentleman, but yes, Edward is a fake. Wouldn't even know a croquet mallet if it bonked him on the noggin.

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