Better than One

Actually what I like most about this pic are the framed double wall hangings. Who really wants to kiss their self anyway? Not I. Not really.

Crackers

You wanted peanut butter
But I could only give you cheese.
You didn't want cheese, just peanut butter.
But peanut butter goes with jelly go on bread.

Sorry, Crackers.
I really do love you
I loved eating you
With cheese.
And cheese, heaven knows,
Is dear to my heart.
But peanut butter goes with jelly go on bread.

You never noticed the cheese I gave.
To you, I only ate ate ate.
You only wanted to be the bread.
But you are Crackers.

I adored every bite,
But for some reason could never try peanut butter.
Maybe it would make me too thirsty.
And peanut butter goes with jelly go on bread.

So you left and I'm sorry.
Sorry for letting you go stale,
Crushing you into fine crumb,
Drowning you in hot and sour soup.
You left
And cheese just isn't the same.

ReWrite Mad Lib

Help me find a more excellent choice of descriptive words. You know what to do. Mad Lib.

The Unfortunate First Impression

1. verb past tense
2. verb past tense
3. adjective
4. verb ending in -ing
5. adjective
6. verb past tense
7. noun
8. verb ending in -ing
9. noun
10. adjective
11. verb past tense
12. verb
13. verb
14. article of clothing
15. adjective
16. verb past tense
17. exclamation
18. verb past tense
19. noun
20. adverb
21. same as 14
22. verb past tense
23. adverb ending in -ly

And now, with the words you have written down you are empowered to help me rewrite the following section of my short story.



Troy’s eyes (1 verb past tense). He lunged forward to try to grab the girl, but it all seemed to happen before he could even move. Her head (2 verb past tense) the (3 adjective) metal barrel and her body fell over the bale of hay, (4 verb ending in –ing) to the ground. The water inside the barrel sloshed out, as he jumped to her side. And somehow, being the (5 adjective) coordinated hero he always seemed to be around any damsel, in any or no distress, he (6 verb past tense) a bit too far, also slamming his shoulder into the barrel. It didn’t hurt, but, it did send the barrel into a lean, almost tipping it over. He reached then, over the girl, to keep it from tipping, but he pulled back on it too hard and the (7 noun) of the water tossed the whole barrel over. Luckily it also tipped toward the unfortunate bale of hay, so instead of (8 verb ending in –ing) the girl, it just soaked her through as its contents emptied on the both of them.
The tirade of curse words came to a (9 noun) as he corrected the barrel at last and realized the girl was still motionless in the (10 adjective) dirt. Her hat had ridden a wave of barrel water about five feet away and her hair (11 verb past tense) around her head.
“Ah, hell.” He knelt down and picked up her head. “Kelli?” he whispered.
No sign of consciousness. He felt her neck and though he was shaking he thought he sensed a pulse. Oh. She was still breathing.
“Thank God. Now what?” He said out loud. “Kelli?” This time a lot louder. Call for help. “Help! Anyone? Hello?” He raised one hand out from under her head to (12 verb) his forehead and noticed his arm was covered in blood.
“Ah, hell no. What do I do?” Kelli didn’t respond, but he was pretty sure, if she had, she would have told him to grab Billy Strait’s truck and (13 verb) her to a hospital. So, that’s what he did. But first he took off his (14 article of clothing) and wrapped it around Kelly’s head like a sloppy turban. He propped her up just a little, against the (15 adjective) bale of hay, made sure she stayed, and ran.
Billy was drunk, as usual.
“Staying in the trailer tonight Billy?” Troy tried to catch his breath to sound casual and did a pretty good job. Billy just (16 verb past tense) from a dark end of his trailer. “Just gonna borrow your truck, K, buddy?” He hardly waited for a reply as he grabbed the keys, let the trailer door slam shut and raced to the truck.
The driver door was jammed shut.
“Ah, (17 exclamation) .” He raced around the hood and opened the passenger door. “Damn door.” He tore back toward the barrel and the hay. . .and Kelli. Dust swirled around him as he (18 verb past tense) the truck to a halt. In the (19 noun) of the headlights he could see she was (20 adverb) as he left her. But his (21 same article of clothing as 14) was already soaked red. Fast as he could, he slipped his arms under hers and dragged her body toward the passenger side of the truck. He noticed her hat on the ground, crouched down and grabbed it, and flung it into the back of the truck. Then he (22 verb past tense) in first, pulling her after him. Putting her head in his lap, he gently shifted the truck into gear as (23 adverb ending in –ly) as he could.

Recipe for Fail-Proof Invisibility

The mad Shientist surveyed for ingredients.
‘Long brown hair, a must.
New in town or bust.
Speaking of bust, a good one of those, please.’
Sensing the surest possibilities
He anxiously began his experiment.

‘Excellent. Here's the fail-proof plan:

Monday: Take brown-eyed short to dinner
Tuesday: Swim with green eyes; she's thinner
Wednesday: Call them both and cuddle with blue-eyed
Thursday: Take tall n' tan girl for a (car) ride
Friday: Call them all, and ask out brown-eyed short again
Saturday: Keep open; further intrigues may begin.

This will reveal that I am a fail-proof man.’

Then one day in this small surveyed town,
Blue-eyed talked to green eyes
Who'd talked to short brown eyes
Who'd seen tall n' tan leaning so far in
To Shim like she was part of his skin.
Fail-proof would now get some of his own.

Monday: leave him knocking at the door
Tuesday: drop him when he asks for more
Wednesday: cuddle with another
Thursday: ask out his brother
Friday: all four show up to watch him squirm
Saturday: let him dangle like a worm.

The dangling Shientist’s disbelief swelled,
His experiment had gone terribly sour.
He was supposed to have retained all the power.
But clearly his theory had all but come true
(That women would crave him and not have a clue
How well his true self unfailingly repelled
Well, everyone).

There are other fish in the ocean
Not sea sick with a false notion
That their particular motion,
Emotion or loco-motion,
Is solely needing devotion
From everyone.

The moral of his story, then
Is if you spread yourself so thin
Perceiving you're made of enough that's divisible
You’ll only successfully end up invisible.

Math is so applicable to life

f is the function for the equation solving for peace.

f(x)= girl - (x)(boy - troubles) ≥ girl (power) / (x)^2 +freedom

find f(hooray) where hooray = xboy

simplify.

question worth ∞ points.....

Must. Write. Something.

I wrote recently on my Dreamastic blog, but still nothing has inspired me to write here on my dearly beloved blog. I could write something about Michael Jackson dying. And Farah Faucett, too. They died the same day, they died looking the same, too, but they died of different causes. But I don't want to write about that.

I don't want to write about my car getting backed into either. Or the fact that I had the stomach flu and went to IHC Urgent Care on Wednesday. It made me miss my first day of math class at UVU that I don't want to talk about either. I started a new short story since I'm avoiding my novel. I don't want to talk about it. I'm ashamed that I neglect my novel. I know it needs care and attention.... I did sealings at the temple on Friday. The lady in there with me must have really wanted to talk to someone. She talked to me in the dressing room after our sealing session. I found out that she had two dead husbands, that her sister or someone had married and it was hard for the daughter and she met a lady that married a man and he was dead now and his funeral was the next day but she wouldn't go since she was going to go visit a friend and it was interesting that she had been in the same sealing session as those two younger men -- neither of whom were married ;) ;) ;)-- since she knew them from somewhere before. They weren't married, either of them, had she mentioned that? I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't even really know what she was talking about, but oh well. I listened....

Ah ha. I want to write about the barn cake that Mom and I built for our John Deere-loving friend, Jay. So beautiful. The cake, that is.... Don't believe me? See for yourself.





Now what did I tell you? Beautiful.

About Time

Where does the time go?

Father said it follows him everywhere, that's where.
Mother told me, Time returns to the dirt.
The King sang as his hips swang. "Time goes by so slowly...time can do so much."
The Queen sent me away, "Busy busy, work work!"
The Sisters bowed their heads for all eternity, so I never got their answer.
Big Brother said, Don't worry where the time goes, it's taken care of.
I asked the Man in the moon, he yawned and phased the other way.
I peered behind the Calendar.
I watched my watch.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days; time goes many ways.
Wrinkles, heartbeats, memories; time goes through me.

Best Thing

It only took one back-arching, chin-tipping reflex to realize that at my new place, I won't have to do magic bending tricks in order to wash myself in the shower. Ahhhhhhhh.

New Post

What's new? Oh, didn't I tell you? A couple posts ago I wrote about my rejection letter. Well, I have since received an acceptance e-mail! They are using my teeny-tiniest entry, my visual poem "Look,." (I figured they had a little blank spot on a page that they needed to fill up.) It's on my blog, first post of this year I think, but it goes like this.

Look,
If you take this away
If you take away If
you take away you
take away
away

I was always proud of this one. It will be published in a literary journal at UVU, Touchstones. Yay! I'll get a complimentary issue of the journal when I go to the release party, April 14 at 7pm. It's cool.

And I sent popcorn to France. It's disguised as a "group gift" and "a blanket, a ring, a letter" on the itemized contents list... I had run into a little trouble when telling the truth so I had to stretch some hardly-truths to get the packages through. But now they're off and I'm relieved. I'd promised them all (the members in the wards where I served) popcorn over a year ago. Better late (and $200) than later...(and > $200 w/o a FedEx account--thanks Miles).

And I am a temple worker at the Provo Temple, Saturdays 4:00 to 8:30pm. It's really nice. I don't have any dates or other eternally pressing matters on Saturday evenings so I'm at no loss working the Saturday evening shift. It's not too busy, either, so it's double nice. Peaceful and calm. Lots of pregnant woman I've noticed though....

And I'm going to move. I'm so excited. I need a change, and this will be somewhat of a significant one. I mean, Pleasant Grove is a whole new world, eh? ;) I think that's where we'll end up, my two friends and I. It will be so nice, cuz we're very complimentary friends and they make two roommates for me instead of five. I prefer that ratio.

Then, I started working for one of my best friends, Barb. Well, maybe more appropriately put, I work for the baby, Addison. :) Cutest baby. She's so chill and fun. But not exactly low maintenance as she LOVES to roam and be the center of attention. She's a complete joy, and I'll love this "job."



Oh, I go swimming at the gym lately, and my dad has given me lots of pointers. There's so much more to proper swimming than I ever knew! I really need to get a rhythm and figure out what to do with my motorboat feet. When I get concentrating too much on everything is when I get the most water in the orifices of the head. But it's fun. Maybe not for whomever may be watching me....but learning new things is fun for me!

And I'm addicted to Edamame (ěd'ə-mä'mā). But right now I'm eating Salt & Pepper Pistachios from Costco. Both good and good for me!


Okay, well that should be fine for now. See you at the temple, eh? Or perhaps in one of my strange dreams of late. Or wherev. Peace. :)

Today

I wore one sweater less than usual, half the usual amount of time.
I saw a fruit fly.
I wore capris (red).
I turned on my car AC.
It almost hurt to touch my car steering wheel after work.
I smelled flowers even when I can't see any.
I think Spring is a comin'.