Love is to Heart as Water is to _________

You take the balloon. You put some water in the balloon. Pinch the opening tight so it doesn't leak. Unexpectedly the balloon is knocked from your hands and water spills bitterly down your clean pants, assuming you're wearing pants.

You retrieve the balloon. It hangs limp, stretched by the water now on your pants. You come to another faucet a while later that is better than the first and put some water back in the balloon. Your pants are dry and the balloon can fit a lot more water this time.

etc. And one day, another faucet comes along and refills again your sagging balloon and then yanks it from your hands and ties the end in a knot. Just when you think this is the glorious moment for your weary balloon, the faucet hurls it to the ground and it bursts all over your shoes.

You leave the balloon in pieces. You pull a new balloon out of your hat. It's a stronger one, a bigger one, a bluer one.

Water fight.

Real Life is Too Much

I got home from working out probably too hard and fast and I changed my clothes. My sister called out to me, "Emily, I have something to show you." I followed after her but stayed in the kitchen as she went to the garage and rummaged through an apple box. She pulled out two brown, long things and the first thing that came to my mind was yams. I thought she had some prize long, skinny yams she wanted to show me. Random, yes, but nothing could prepare me for the shock as she cried out "Deer legs!" like we were starving castaways about to stew the last of Earth's protein. She held them into the light so I could quease better -- er, uh see better and recounted the where-the-red-fern-grows story of a disemboweled deer running around BYU campus, adding emphasis when needed with hoof motions as her hands were correspondingly occupied. The severed tendons would bulge in and out of the fur as the hoof hopelessly waved at me, a motion like an unconscious drunk on a rollercoaster. At one point, fascinated with her own strange luck at being the recipient of two deer legs, she clicked the exposed bones together and said too honestly, "Em, when I watched them saw the head off I almost lost it." All I could do was hyperventilate and hold the bridge of my nose. Give me a break! I just worked out. Imagine what could be done with two legs of a deer...nightmares tonight

Timberrrrrr

So, I was working out at 24hour fitness (I'm thinking of joining) and I ran into a famous person's friend. Well, this man didn't run into me, he came up to me as I was working my hamstrings, we'll call him Jan (with a German pronunciation so it sounds like "Yawn" but stiffer, ya know, cuz the Germans are stiff--and I can say that, I've been there). Jan, who is not German (...well, we never got around to discussing tribes), seemed like a jolly good chap and his opening line was not, "I'm the friend of a famous person," it was, "How tall are you?" I don't know which I'd prefer as an opening line, but I've heard the latter much more often than the former. Anyway, His famous friend is an NBA star that recently injured his wrist, so I hear. Since I'm "about 6'2" without the shoes" (I was wearing Z-CoiLs when I replied to his opening line) he figured I'm a perfect match for his famous buddy we'll call Clark. I've never seriously dated a guy under 6'2" so I guess I've been lucky to find some tall ones, or have some tall one's buddy find me working out at the gym.

So, Jan was on the left side of the machine and an old guy was at the leg machine to the right. The old man had spied my shoes moments before Jan's arrival and started flirtin with me. Clark already has competition. Anyway, after the arrival of Jan, the old man returned and repeated what he'd overheard, "You're going on a mission?" I'd told Jan, because it was true. I told the old man it was true. I turn in the papers tomorrow and so I hope that means I'll be getting a call sometime soon. I'll let you all know, of course. I don't think the old man will ever find out where I get called to. Who knows, maybe I'll see him at the gym again. I've derailed if ever there was a sensible track I was on.....oh well, really not much to say anyway. ta ta

If I

If I were a spider I wouldn't last long. Instead of a web, I'd spin a hammock and gently sway life away.

24 hour spot in the universe

Today I took my sister to the airport and went to my mom's shoe store. She likes me to work there when my sister (who's really the only one that knows what to do) and my uncle and my other sister and she and my dad can't. I'm definitely the last resort as employee. In fact, I don't know why she even lets me go in there as she basically fired me from there two summers ago. She got complaints from customers that the service was crappy and unprofessional. Then as I remind her that I'm worthless to her in this capacity, she says something like, "well, we all have to do things we don't want to and maybe you've gotten better...." Well, I thought I was doing just fine when, according to these customers, I was no better than a cardboard cutout. But guess what? I sold a pair of shoes. They're Z-CoiL shoes. They're very neat. Go to www.zcoil.com if you don't believe me. They work! I've got some myself. Very nice for running, standing, walking, etc. Nurses, you'll love them.

Also today I got a job as a substitute teacher. That's something I've never been before. I'm excited.

Last night I got hot under my covers so I kicked and pulled my p.j. bottoms off. For the life of me, I could not find them when I woke up. I tore my bed apart and looked through all the dirty and clean-ish laundry all over my floor and still no luck. I looked under the bed and found a plastic sandwich bag full of raw almonds.... I was in Alaska for five months, don't ask me how they got there. Anyway, when I went to get dressed to go running I redoubled my efforts in the search for the great white bottoms (p.j. bottoms, remember) and I lifted the big, deliciously soft body pillow on my bed and voila (is that how you spell that?) there they were. So, with a white shirt, dern white skin and white Z-CoiL Freedom 2000s now added to my white pants, I looked like a great white candy cane ready for a lickin! But who really got the licking was the spider I saw on my ceiling right before I left to go running.

I'm a murder, yes. If they infiltrate my habitat, they die. That's all there is to it. They've always been portrayed as evil and dangerous, and they startle me every time I see one. So, mostly for being so unfairly startling for their size is why they meet their death when they meet me. I know. It's so unfair.

I Love You

(you know who you are)

Some....Things

I don't really know the purpose of this post.

I went to my boyfriend's grandparents house and I really had to pee so I went......into their bathroom to relieve myself. I sat on the toilet. The seat was rimmed with a cream-colored memory-foam-life-vest-thing seat cover. It's a good thing memory foam doesn't collect memories. just sayin. it was intensely comfortable, plus my temporary throne was about two to three times higher than the average toilet. It's really no wonder that fragile-bottomed old people have cushy seats on their toilets. The bathroom is the third (a very-close second) most important room in the house so why not have a comfortable seat on which to relieve yourself? Ah, cushioned toilet seat, years it had been and hopefully years it will be before we meet again.

Still, I felt royal upon my flushing throne, so tall and grandiose. I'm about six feet and two inches from the floor, so tall stools (I know we're talking a lot of potty here, but not those kind of stools), tall chairs, tall cars and trucks, and even animals are a blessing. I love not having to bend over to get in or on or out or off of something. That's a lot of 'o' words. I get envious of little kids sometimes when they sit on a chair and can kick their dwarfish dangling legs. I love doing that when I get the chance. I couldn't dangle my legs from this toilet, and though I couldn't have the childlike wish of my heart, I still didn't have to stand up.... it was really just more of a step forward.

From Rexbug, Idaho to Raymond, Alberta, Canadia it usually takes about 7 1/2 hours. That's if bf speeds. We drove with a total of ten people in two cars. And he sped. We got pulled over because his car was missing a head light. The cop that took his license and registration looked really young, looked inexperienced to the ways of doughnuts, had no facial hair and innocent-type eyes. With my extensive experience as a detective I noticed the old, fat, mustached cop accompanying the young cop and figured this proto-cop at our window was in training. He asked if he knew why he got pulled over and bf said, "because I don't have a headlight?" That was the right answer. Did I mention that two hours earlier we hit a deer? It was crossing the road to our right, causing the car to lay down some sweet skid marks toward the left, but her butt hit the right front of the car, where she left some poop on the bumper, and her face whipped around to her right and hit the passenger side door where she drooled her last drool, and the impact broke at least her back right leg, and she died somewhere in Montana. With her life she took the headlight but left some dents that will forever remind him of the moment. It's an '89 Chevrolet Caprice beast; the poor dear didn't stand a chance. That's the first deer death I've been involved in. The second police pullover ("no, it's a cardigan!".....), and the third time I've been in a car stuttering to a stop for lack of life sustaining fluids. Yep, same trip we ran out of gas. Hairy story trimmed short, we made it to Canadia (I'm saying Canadia on purpose) eleven hours from the starting line.

I know you're not supposed to remove anything from National Parks in the USA, but I didn't know any better in Canadia. Nobody official-like knows yet, but I found something in Waterton National Park and now it's in Utah. Somehow it made it into my purse and back to Utah. And actually, now I'm the Queen of Waterton National Park. No one official-like knows that either. I'm not sure if I want to really assume any responsibility, but it's nice to know that I'm important in a foreign country. So, we were all skippin stones. I was unusually sucky at skipping stones so I sat down to just find the coolest one to take home with me. The sky above was clouded and aboot the time my eyes beheld my treasure, the heavens opened and a pillar of light shone upon me. I reached out and pulled a three-inch, plastic, gray sword from the stones. No joke. I always felt I was destined for dispensable, international semi-greatness.

I'm [?] home.

[glad to be]

[finally]

[already being driven as a slave at]


and


For some reason, 923 or 9:23 (a.m. or p.m.) or 9/23 -- just anything to do with 923 -- is my favorite number. I don't know where it all began, but, though it's a little strange, it holds a special place in my heart. what fun, it's 9:23 on 9/23!
...well, my clock said 9:23 anyway. oh well, close enough.

From Anchorage to Union (Oregon)

There are a lot of elk and black bears.

Did you know that if a drowsy driver nearly hits a black bear, their alertness is afterward refreshed for an hour or so?

You know that feeling you get like warm carbination being poured around your heart? It usually happens....like, when you're passing a semi truck on a road with no painted lines and you can't really tell if a car might be coming any second and as you get close to all the way past him he starts pumping his air horn. Yeah, I don't like that feeling.

Yakima is quite pretty...from a distance....at sunset.

After smashing a bunny rabbit under-tire, the experience of crunching on Almond Roca is never quite the same, although still quite enjoyable.

Ever been to Smithers, British Columbia? Coming from the north before entering town, I fell in love with Smithers. It's quaint, it's charming, it's lovely. It's a town like the ones on calendars that my mom hands around at Christmas/New Years time.

In 53 hours my sister and I drove approximately 2600 miles. My longest stretch was just over 12 hours straight. Hers was 14. She's got me beat. And I'll get back to ya on how much money I've spent on gas...I get kinda confused with how much I've spent in Canadian dollars.

I like Canadian money. I didn't know why until my sister expressed her dislike since it looks like play money. That's why I like it. On their dime it says "10 cents" and did you notice on our dimes it says "one dime?" Is that not so lame? I like "10 cents" better.

I don't know for sure, but I think I'd like the metric system better than whatever we've got. But it sure is nice to see 242 km and automatically think it's 242 miles and watch the number drop like you're going 80 miles an hour and not 80 kilometers and hour, which we actually did most of the time, 80 mph that is. 80 km is about 50 mph. That is no highway speed.

I'm not home yet. Union, OR (people live in eastern oregon? yes, my grandparents, in fact) is my resting stop. Good ol' gram and gramps. Then, on Tuesday marnin, I'm going to Rexburg ID from here for a night or two. And then I'LL BE HOME! It's been a while since I've been there, but it's still sweet still.

Ergo, more to come.

On Me Dawning

I don't know why I didn't recognize it earlier. On their own, men and/or boys are rather intelligent, well-behaved and civil. Their manners are in the front part of the mind. Adding another male into the situation (probably excepting religious gatherings) and amazingly stupidity starts cracking through. It's mysterious, however it happens. Oh, it happens. Add enough females and it's cured. My, what power we have.

This morning I was driving a 55 pax motorcoach to Seward, AK from Anchorage, AK, and the Northern Lights (aurora Borealis) were pale green and slicing through the stars like a mad-crazed heavenly butcher was stabbing at the earth. They were switching and hopping and squirming a furiously sensuous dance. Did you ever think the sky might have a mating season, too?? I've heard the Elk's bugle call lately, so, ya never know... I even saw a shooting star.

That's probably the last time I'll drive the entire Seward Highway twice in one day.