What is Drastic + Dramatic

Monday, June 20, 2011

Life in a Day

Enough amusing things happened in my day today that a chord within me has been strummed to a blog-inspiring tune. the morning started out really chill. I got to sleep in (until the morning sun started burning me through my window. i need to move my bed) and take a nice long shower (hey, my water bill is like 'everyone pays for everyone'...it's equalized somehow for the whole building or apt complex. it's the screwiest thing i've ever heard. but i may as well use my share of water if i'm going to pay for it. shoot.) but then i took too much sweet time and had to hurry flurry pack up and run downstairs for my ride to work. God bless everyone who gives rides to people. hey that includes me. sweet.

it was a warm morning. i rolled my back seat window down. stopped at a red light, my ride was right next to a bus stop. one fellow had the stage, telling his two seated friends a story.

"So i had four hundred dollars and my ex was all yelling at me cuz she thought i would blow it all in one day. here it is four days later and i still have eighty-two cents!"

"Hey, so you're doin pretty good"

green light go.

at work i got a hug from my favorite driver whom i call sweetheart. then i got another ride from there to the airport. okay all this is boring. skip to the part where there's a YogurtLand in the airport. yay! so i got coconut, devil's food cake, a lil mango and a lil strawberry flavors, topped it with almonds, strawberries and choc chips and savored it before going through security. a father and his two girls sat across from Ed and me as we spooned frozen goodness into ourselves. i couldn't help but overhear

"Dad, i think i have a stupid question, but why when a balloon has a string does it float, but when it doesn't have a string it doesn't float?"

"it's not the string, it's what's in the balloon. A floating balloon is filled with helium and one that doesn't float is filled with air."

"ahhh. but, why doesn't it float with air?"

"the balloon is heavier than the air."

younger girl: "unless you make a balloon out of air."
older one: "oh, and how would you do that"
younger: "you just gather up some air and quick squeeze some more air into it and wrap the air around it..."
older: "that wouldn't work"
younger: "it's called make believe"...

the passenger they were waiting for arrived and they left. i love me a good teaching/learning moment. pretty valid observation about the balloon string if ya ask me.

getting through security was the normal un/repack un/redress game, i passed, blah blah, we board, we sit. there we are, four coworkers and myself, all in aisle seats in five different rows. the plane was full, the air not circulating more than from every individual's lung power, getting stuffy and hot very quickly. the tour director, Jack, whom i will have for my tour starting here in fairbanks tomorrow, sat next to a minor flying solo. what a kick in the pants...he was probably seven or eight and freely chatting up Jack like he fully trusted anyone who was fortunate enough to sit next to him. he, Austin i think it was, explained to Jack all the super powers of Mario. finally the air started and electronic devices had to be put away for the safety demonstration by our flight attendants.

we were on a disney plane! and i like the clouds and the luggage caterpillar truck tutting along like its own disney ride. luggage handling, wheee.

as we taxied out from the gate, we stopped. our captain informed us we'd be going back to the gate to get a blacked out monitor fixed. this did two things. it took about 15 minutes of my life, and apparently it reset the flight attendants. they did their safety demonstration again -- wait, they didn't even get to how to use a seat belt before there was a long pause in the mindless speech (can we get a ukulele up in here!?) and then the speaking attendant's voice came back on, literally smiling, her voice was smiling, informing us that we would need to wait ten more minutes to put fuel in the aircraft.

this is when i leaned across the aisle to Ed, stuck my thumb out, down at the emergency light strips on the floor directing me to the nearest exit (possibly behind me) in case of emergency, and said, "airplane pre-trip fail".

Austin kept saying something like "i see the look on yo face" for most of this time. none of us knew why.

the Man put a quarter in the safety demonstration machine again and it started up from the beginning again. i mean, did we change planes when we changed that screen? and then again when we refueled? we all ignored the speech for the third time. though i often get a kick out of mainly the clothing of persons depicted in the pictures, still I disobeyed and didn't touch the safety card in the pocket in the upright seat back under the tray table in the locked position in front of me...

you know how sometimes the pilot says 'attendants secure for take off' or at least anything before take off? well, after the third safety speech we were suddenly surging down the runway, no warning. in the air.

i always find it interesting that I can see 'up' the plane during the ascent. we're all obviously still in the same straight line of seats, but the people in row 7 are higher than the people like me in row 22. we're level...but we're not. i like mildly trippy things like that.

and i love mount McKinley aka Denali

at some point the man in front of me (who, while boarding, had given me a 'look' that belongs in a bar i would never patronize even if i did drink) raised his right arm to stretch. as if the air circulation wasn't already stagnant, precisely then it was sapped entirely from existence. i gagged and somehow breathed out more than i breathed in while i snuck my camera behind his back...

our magical flight caught some awesome yogurt-blending stomach-bending turbulence while we arced toward fairbanks. our safety performers hardly had a chance to deliver water, snack and napkin before we were ready to land again. in fbanks it was warm and windy so when our lurching Disney ride came in for a landing I was a wincy bit anxious for it to come to a complete stop. As it did, the brakes made a spectacular groaning sound, the one you don't want to hear when you have limited air strip before you and five hundred miles an hour behind you...

anyway, i'm alive and unscathed. later i took a taxi to a restaurant with two other drivers, Ed and Kevin. i was craving some chips n salsa so we went mexican. i ordered the regular burrito. kevin went for the challenge.


mine compared to the challenger. i didn't even finish mine. shoot. what a wimp. oh, well i did have my chips n salsa to start.

then we walked to Fred Meyer grocer. as Kevin shopped Ed and i made our way toward the restrooms. as i approached the women's restroom a man exited. a young man in a reflective neon vest. my narrowed eyes followed him through an employees only door. got it. walking into the restroom a loaded cleaning cart blocked the way. there was another guy in there. i asked if i should wait a minute. he said no go ahead. he stood behind his cart near the door. i chuckled as i realized he wouldn't be exiting the restroom. not gonna lie my bladder was shy at first. his buddy had rejoined him moments after my entry so i got to listen over the sound of my own pee how they mumbled in their nervous adolescent mutters just two stalls and a wall away. yeesh. i could see them behind me, reflected in the mirror as i washed my hands. wow. as i exited i remarked, 'this is your favorite job, huh.' the one made a noise as he awkwardly shifted, the other said, 'it puts gas in the tank.' yah. later boys.

well that's about it. silly insignificant moments to make a muser's day amusingly memorable.

1 comment:

Jessie said...

Thanks for the update Em. I miss you girl!

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