What is Drastic + Dramatic

Monday, August 31, 2009

What Next, Dear Mother?

Most mothers make good impromptu nurses when time requires, but Mother nature sure has it out for me right now and not helpfully. I've had quite the cough for almost a week now. I've tried her natural honey and lemon drops, salt and warm water gargle, rest and relaxation, steamy-hot-water showers, sucking on frozen water (ice) to shrink bronchial membranes, and then I've moved to sticky syrups and bitter gulps of stuff, but those lungs are still battling and the war sounds wheeze from my covered kisser (which hasn't been kissing anyone for at least a week). So, you know, thanks a lot, Ma. But you won't take me back into your earthy clutches over this bout. You'll have to try harder than that to get me!

Most females are content to live and thrive in their homes and with family and close friends, rummaging for her family's daily needs through hard work and generous service. But mosquitos. Ohhhh no. The females cannot survive without stealing for daily their needs from unsuspecting, or sometimes very suspecting and somewhat paranoid strangers. Tiny vampires, not looking for love in rain-cloud-covered towns, but lusting for blood, dementedly probing any warm dermal surface to retrieve their needed nutrients all because they can't stomach peanut butter or hamburger (plenty of which they could probably find in dumpsters, if they'd just branch out and try some). I ventured into the out, for a mere half slice of an hour, and returned to the in with 25 (twenty-five) dirty left-overs of their quick, greedy meals. Only one casualty on their side. And look at me. I look diseased.

But this too shall pass. It will take more than this to pull me under!

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