What is Drastic + Dramatic

Monday, April 04, 2005

I like shopping car(t)s

*my brother said "'Walmarts is'"? quoting me after reading this, claiming a grammatical error. I'm an english major. I don't make grammatical errors. So to explain, a few of us in my family call WalMart "WalMarts" at all times whether plural or not.*

you know what I think?
McDonalds and WalMarts are taking over the world
every WalMarts has a McDonalds or two inside
and then another in the far end of the parking lot
Independent of McDonalds, Walmarts is huge
what I think will happen is that pretty soon Walmarts will be so everywhere that no one will have to drive to WalMarts anymore
and then they will make the WalMarts stores bigger cuz they won't need parking lots. what people will do is get souped up shopping carts.
they'll install small sound systems inside the handles that you can plug earphones into
giving a whole new meaning to the dance move "the shopping cart"
cuz you can groove it, bass rocking the heartbeat of the cart, as you move it down the isle toward the check out stand or McDonalds
and some people will go so far as to get bigger wheels, jacked up
shiny chrome rims, spinning on the side
why not? Vacuums have lights on them (a feature that's always pleased me)
for the extravagant parent, the kiddie seat will be recline-able
a cushy leather seat
with a belt like they have in race cars. why not add a stick shift thingy while you're at it. Oh, that would be cool. Standard shopping carts with gears...
Walmarts would start selling shopping handle covers. Oh, please incorporate rear/side view mirrors, somehow.
Cup holders! oh, yes definitely. That way you can drink and drive at the same time, and eat and drive. cuz I know that would be something I'd miss not being able to - to drive from the McDonalds at the end of the(what used to be)parking lot to my coveted parking spot, like 17 "rows" away from the front, while eating my big mac.
Padded interior, extra storage, fold away seats, air conditioning, built in dvd player, elliptical-powered so you can exercise while you shop...pretty much, we wouldn't even need homes.
But, the "cart collector" would lose his job...
Anyway, just you wait and see....and anyway, let's say WalMarts doesn't take over the world....why not have incredible, awesome shopping carts anyway? I like shopping carts.

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