Just Because...

Fond Farewell

My lovely friends made me a scripture chain to count down to tomorrow. Not much of a chain left with one link. This pic was taken yesterday though. Anyway, I'm outta here. Prolly won't be touching this baby for 18 months. *sigh* France, watch out here I come!

X marks the spot

What treasure would be found if I dug a hole in the sky?

Close Your Eyes And Read

The city lights reflect off the starless sky ceiling
My street lamp winks through the waving plum tree

Closed Eyes

Splashing on cars, leaves, the roof
Same cloud juice, different sounds
A train moans its warning far to the west
The on-duty cricket hums in the field

Deep Breaths

Stale couch
Drenched pavement
Mowed lawn and gasoline
Fall breeze

Goose Bumps

Peace fills my soul
Drops fill the gutter

sweet sixteen

16 We wait
15 for 359
14 days for
13 Christmas
12 to come around.
11 school starts
10 halloween spooks
9 how soon it comes.
8 thanksgiving stuffs
7 and we race to buy
6 gifts to give and some
5 of us receive gifts
4 and then
3 it's a new year again.
2 it comes
1 it passes

Waiting takes long and comes all too soon.
Worming through life takes and leaves the dirt.
Words are the proof that it happened at all.
Walking uphill backward isn't downhill.
Wonderful moments digest into memories.
We can only watch the past; the future watches us.
Waking up happens every time but the last.
Waiting takes time and leaves all too soon.

Free Entry

Excerpts from my journal cuz I'm kinda lazy now to make it up on the spot:

Friday Aug. 11
"I'm so tired. I'm trying to fight the lulling hum and vibration of this San Fran-bound plane, and it's hard. I slept pretty well last night for which I'm grateful, but planes and sitting remind me how much I enjoy sleeping and dreaming and sometimes it's just better to not be conscious with my thoughts. They can become quite dull in a setting such as this, which also deadens my desire to use any senses and just sleep. I'm managing. I stared at this journal paper for many minutes wishing I had a magic quill to write all my thoughts for me -- the exciting ones, not the dull. I guess these, words etched by my choice and effort, are not much more brilliantly entertaining than an elephant. But there's not much else to do. It's a small plane, like a motorcoach with wings."

(I had a fun time on my day trip to San Francisco. I went to apply for my visa into France later this year. A bunch of us future missionaries bound for France went, and after the application process we had time to kill. We went to a restaurant down the street with excellent service and good food. We skipped around China town for just a few minutes until the restaurant opened. After eating, we went to Coit Tower. From there there was a faint view of the Golden Gate bridge. Alcatraz poked out of the water from where it usually does, and Loumbard St wound in the distance. I love that street, if that's even the name for it exactly. Without any time to, we raced, in our private charter van, to Ghiradelli Square and got icecream. I also bought some dark chocolate with caramel in it. It's delicious to the taste. We made it back to the airport in time for the earliest departure. Phew! The day before, 5 of us missed our flight to San Fran cuz of all the heightened security and it was just clogged, taking us an hour to get through security. I had to throw away my lip gloss, those sons of guns terrorists.)

I took a late nap and I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep on my own so I slipped myself a sleeping pill. After an hour it was kicking in nicely and I still had to fill my car with gas and buy some milk. I got some gas and floated to the Creamery for milk. Thursday Aug 10:

"The guy at the creamery behind me in line made a wise crack to the checker that my second gallon of milk was his. I totally unexpected it and the checker was at that moment distracted by another employee and the guy behind me was trying to explain why he just wet his pants. Not really, but his face was like that, kinda embarrassed but too late to take it back. As soon as the checker was attending to me again, I told him, with the help of the guy behind me that it actually was my milk. I was in dream land already, commanding my physical form with casual attention, and I suddenly realized I should revive mentally and put the poor man at ease, so I apologized to him and explained my seemingly appalled and offended demeanor as under the influence of a sleeping pill. I hope it helped, but I didn't really care too much either way. I took my milks and went home. I am glad for milk. It assisted my Rice Krispies consumption this morning for which I am most grateful."

(Have you a mother like mine that buys cereal in very large quantities? I've noticed at my house, cereal comes and goes in phases. We have favorites for a while and then we pick a new favorite. That happens with games, too. It'll be LIFE for weeks straight. If we play a game, it'll be LIFE. Then we'll stop playing games for a while altogether, and so on, to the next favorite game. Anyway, I'm on a Rice Krispies kick right now. A helpful hint for ya: mix Rice Krispies in with icecream and it's so delicious. It's like 'the icecream cone bite' in every bite!)

"I don't have many people I like to spill to or that seem to enjoy being spilled upon by me. I often spill into my journal. It doesn't give much advice -- it's just like talking into an empty cave. It rattles around and lets me hear what I just said. Not always helpful when seeking advice."

(This is true. I just liked that cave analogy, so I thought I'd share.)

"Dad and I made salsa. That was productive because we have tons of fresh veggies. I started cutting the jalepenos and I flicked a bit into my eye. I went to the bathroom to flush my eye. I thought maybe it was just on my contact so if I took it out the problem would be gone, but like a genious I took it out with jalepeno fingers and got more - in both my eyes. So it was burning pretty good. I flushed for a while and they feel better. I'm still afraid of touching my eyes. That juice doesn't come off easy. It's under my fingernails."

(My fingers still smell like garlic, since I also chopped the garlic. It's stinky. BUT, the best part are these guys below. I was having a great time with papa and the veggies!)

July

July is month 7. Whenever I see a date 7/whatever it makes me think of August. It's like July doesn't exist in number form in my brain. That can be quite troublesome. But, I get over it. I don't usually make too many mistakes because of it.

On Pioneer day, a black pathfinder found its way into my neighbor's parked car. The pathfinder was supposed to be parked too. 500 feet up the street. Apparently, with the car in neutral and the emergency brake faulty or just not ever pulled in the first place, it rolled down the slight hill, bounced of the curb and smashed into the little blue Saturn. There was a hitch on the back of the pathfinder, it squished the hood into a small peak, and made a snack of the license plate. I was outside, but only heard it happen. It was a strange sight and a strange feeling to approach the car and find it locked and empty. The owner of the car came out when I reported what I'd heard and then discovered. Her little 3 year old boy came following after, with the rest of the visiting family, and when he saw what the rest of us were looking at, he burst into tears and started wailing and hugging the hood of the car. The dad was taking pictures of the damage and got a picture of his kid too. It was quite funny. Apparently he was emotional all day since his toy car had broken. This just tipped him over the edge. We found the owner of the pathfinder up the street. His fiancee came and they stood with a friendly awkwardness at the scene until the cop arrived. He made his report with a frown all the while, and the pathfinder was free to go. Both individual insurances will have to pay as he found no fault for what happened. We'll see about that. In Heaven. just kidding.

I did an 8 mile hike that nearly killed me. Not really, but the flies were stupid (when are they not) and the first 5 miles were up hill. We started at Rock Canyon trail head, wound around the mountain and went down to the Y on Y mount. My knees really didn't appreciate all that down hill. It got pretty toasty by 10:30. It was fun though. When it was over especially. I'm not much of a hike enjoyer. Strolls are much more my style. I won't be joining my friends on the Mt. Timpanogas hike at midnight tonight. I can see the sunrise from my pillow fine enough.

Yesterday I got a manicure and a pedicure. It cost me a mere $20! I had a coupon. It was nice. The paint is already chipping off my fingernails, but that's fine. I don't care much for nail polish. It's French style, and I'm going to France....you know, it fits. I made sure to grow my nails out all pretty and this week they kept chipping or breaking. The night before my manicure I attacked one of my thumb nails; chewed it off for being so dumb. So, it looks a little stubby with the rest of them. But I still love it. And I'd never had a pedicure. It was nice. A little ticklish, but nice.

I don't eat anymore. No, I'm not anorexic, I just haven't planned eating into my day really, so I figure it'll happen sooner or later, but usually it doesn't. When i get too hungry I find something to consume, but usually I have cereal and then snacks the rest of the day. I like to cook, but I never know if my mom might. I should get used to that she won't and I should cook myself.....not myself...uh, I should make dinner myself, since she's always busy. But tonight I might just order Papa John's. I love their pizza above all others'. I even applied to be a delivery girl for them. That would be grand. Except I'd probably work nights and then I wouldn't get to hang out with my friends as much. I have the coolest neighbors. Oertel and Eric and sometimes their brother Matt have so much fun. I love having friends more than just about anything.

I went to the BYU campus and strolled. Remember, I like strolling. I briefly gazed at some art, then I headed to their book store. I browsed at journals. I purchased a really lovely lilac print journal and I really want to write in it. When I see blank paper I itch to cover it in something. But it's so lovely I just don't know what deserves to be put therein. The paper is lined on only one side and the book is bound at the top. It may make for a good photos + writing type thing. I've never had a journal specifically for dreams, so I could do that. I have spectacular dreams most usually. Random, scary, funny, so-glad-that-was-a-dream kind, all kinds. Naturally. I feel lucky that I remember them quite often and quite vividly. I feel sorry for those that aren't able to. I also bought some cinnamon bears. I love those gummies above all others. :)

I've started this new idea I had.... It's a journal alphabetized about all the things that make up me. What I think, what I do, what I feel, etc. I'll share some examples in the future. Things will change periodically, like what I think of my family, etc., because I hope to have one of my own where I'm the wife + mama. So if this thing was ever seriously bound or printed even, I'd have to leave some room. It might be better to just three ring bind it and insert pages as needed so expounding and alphabetizing, etc. are easier. I wonder if it's okay to use etc. three, now four times in a paragraph. Anyway, life is good and going on. I thought the other day how I don't like to start writing parts of story ideas that I have until I have the whole story planned, pretty much. It's just that my brain needs a conclusion so badly that it's hard to start unless I know where I'm going. But I have a personal journal and I write in it the story of my life, but I don't know what's going to happen next. I should learn a lesson from myself. I try all the time. I don't like to listen to me a whole lot, it seems. Yeah, so anyway, that'll do for now.

And Then

My Bishop called me and told me there will be visa problems so my new date will be September 20. Almost the 23, which weould be a beautifully lucky day (923) and anyway, who know's if that'll be the date that sticks. But anyway, I think I'm still leaving at least. I'm planning on it, I just don't know when! :) for sure.

Best News

I have a new Date of entry for the MTC. August 9. Then I go to France October 10.
in: 8/9
out: 10/10
back some day!
I'm excited to learn French and eat cafeteria food for 8ish weeks. Just most of all I want to say I love Jesus Christ. So, have a good time doing what you do. I'm gettin my mission face on. Until next time!

Luck-o-Rama

When I was in Ohio, my family went to P.F. Changs. There were over 20 little fortune cookie messages on the table as we were leaving and on an impulse I collected them. Some of them were really lame so I wanted to share the lameness as I'm a very sharing person. Well, that was a month ago and I'm down to 7. But seven is a lucky number. Speaking of lucky numbers, here are the ones offered on each fortune message:

20.22.35.38.39.48.28.9.10.24.34.21.24.7.28.14.6.9.13.23.36.
37.43.45.24.34.41.2.40.9.33.15.48.66.43.8.33.21.15.11.47.8.

You are a practical person with your feet on the ground
A lifetime friend shall soon be made
A great man never ignores the simplicity of a child
To be mature is to accept imperfections
A new voyage will fill your life with untold memories
As a cure for worry, work is better than whiskey
Don't be afraid of fear

So, indeed, how wonderful. Then, on the back we can learn Chinese!!!! But only five of the fortunes help us with that:

May: Wu-yue
Fish: Yu
March: San-yue
April: Si-yue

okay, and one of them was a repeat. There, I finally can throw these things away!

I just found three more.

Be careful to not overspend.
Apply your imaginations to any problem that arises.

And finally and fittingly,

Accept your independence and use it wisely.

I do and I will. Happy 4th of July, that day we launched out on our own.

Daughter: Nu-er
Store: Shang-dian

"My Nu-er bought Yu at the Shang-dian in Si-yue"

Scotland Days

I went to a place in Utah called Thanksgiving Point where dozens of events commence daily. The other day one such event was called something like Highland Scottish Games.....but I can't remember exactly so I call it Scotland Days. My dad went to Scotland on a mission for my church and so I've tasted a tiny bit of (I don't know in the slightest how to spell this word so we'll go with phonetics) shalaylee :) and bagpipe and plaid clothing. But this festival took the haggis. Dancing, bagpipes, sheepherding, dog events, the sheep toss, caber tossing, etc. We saw the world record tie in the mens sheep toss. they take a 20-ish pound sack of hay, stick it with pitch fork and attempt to pitch it over their heads and over a raised bar. You know, pole vaulting for hay (I wonder if they used small sheep at first--omitting use of pitchfork--for it to have that name). Everyone has their own technique and these burly Scots throw it amazing heights. The world record is apparently 35'6" ....I think. I'm sure someone could prove me wrong real quick. I don't want to research it at the moment. Well, maybe that was the height the two competitors were trying to beat the lesser height world record. Anyway, that's hight to toss a bale of hay with a pitchfork. The girls competed too and some couldn't make it 14' which from looking at them looked so easy, but I bet I'd stink at it. The Caber toss is sweet. These big ol' lads take a light pole, pretty much, and run full speed ahead, balancing it in their hands and gut straigt in the air. the idea is to throw it so it lands on its head then flops over as straight as possible out infront of the tosser. like so:
Make sense? :)
Then, the other heavy weight game they played was tossing a heavy weight over a bar, you know, like pole vaulting for heavy weights. It sure was interesting to watch. Oh, and every participant in the games has to wear a kilt, remember. Oh yeah, there was one more game I saw. Just the shot put, really, with a big polished rock. Great times.
It will come as no surprise to most that I got sunburned as my friends and I walked around for hours. Of all the Scottish things there were to purchase there, I bought a hotdog, scone, and later a snow cone. There was one tent filled with things to buy that had old books. I like old things. Everything old has so many stories it could tell, I'm sure. But old books? Sweeeeet. I love books altogether. So old books win the grand prize of my love and attention. Anyway, I got sunburned and now my arm is tanned in layers since I got sunburned before with a longer sleeve shirt on. It's kinda neat. But, talking about it here I see is becoming very boring.
So, I'd love to go to Scotland someday. The whole Great Britain place would be pretty sweet to visit. Next time you're going, let me know. Thanks!

(p.s. the photos take you to some wonderful sites!)

The Devil and I

Nothing terrible happened to me today, 6/6/06. Unless you count meeting the Devil as a terrible thing. It wasn't altogether pleasant -- I wouldn't choose for it to happen again. But, I escaped unscathed, so fine enough. Here's how it went:

I'm walking. It's a warm summer day and in the distance roads have puddles of mirage that cars swim through without a splash. I look at this for I rather like to, but it started pulsating like I haven't seen before so I stopped to see if it was my walking that caused it. No.

Like a lump of lava from the bottom of its lamp, a form bulged from the heat into an upright adult figure on the sidewalk before me. I gave it a curious stare and blinked, slowly one eye, then the other. When I snapped them open again it was advancing with a languid motion, enough to make me feel suddenly car sick without moving. He stopped (I could tell now the form was "he" if anything human) and said,
"Good afternoon, I am the Devil."
Good afternoon? What do you say to that?
"Hi," is all I came up with. He still had the look of a comic book fiend, slightly fuzzy around the edges and pouring heat insomuch that he appeared to be shimmering where he stood.
"I am aware that you silly mortals have superstitions with the number 666."
The formality of his matter of fact tone was quite chilly.
"Some do, yes."
"Yes, I know. I thought it would be fun to walk around today, cause a little panic."
As if he was shopping.
"What brings you to Provo...." (Sir? no, I wouldn't go that far.)
"Oh the Mormons, surely. So many around here that believe that I exist. Thought I'd do a little manifesting."
"I'm a mormon."
"Yes, I know."
I thought maybe now his manifesting might involve physical harm and was sorely tempted to see how much get-away time kicking his form might provide me. I imagined, though, that it might be as fruitful as kicking the flames of a fire--the chances were only I'd get hurt.
"So," I'm stalling now. "Does this mean I'm like...possessed if I can see you?"
"Oh, no." He said casually and with a slight hollow chuckle.
"Sweet." Pause. Not much of a conversationalist for how persuasive he's intended to be. I didn't know what to say to the Devil. I'd never thought I'd meet him, ever in person. Sure there's the crap he pulls on me where he's always behind the scenes: "do this, try that." But I mean, what do you say when he's right there in front of you?
"Well, I was on my way to work. I don't want to be late. If you'll excuse me." I said, motioning past him down the sidewalk. No "nice to meet you" would be necessary.
"Sure." He said, moving sideways so I could pass.
A little hesitant to let him out of my sight, I also turned sideways and scuttled past, close to the curb.
"I'll be seeing you." And he more or less evaporated as he walked away.
As warm as 90 degrees can be, my skin rippled as I watched him, glanced all around me and went to work.

Trip to Ohio

My grandpa calls my grandma "Mother." That or Diane. I usually hear the former. It's what she is, ten times over, and a grand one 18 times over, and a greatgrand one twice.

She has nice ankles and great calves. That's kinda weird for me to say, but it's weird for her to have, I say. She hates exercise so she rarely does, but she needs to a bit for her diabetes, ya know. But she has great calves. I got a little jealous seeing them sticking out of her night gown when we got ready for bed. She'd kill me if she knew I was putting this in any place public. When she sees a picture of herself she doesn't like, she tosses it behind the piano. No joke.

We slept three times in motels. Twice on the way there, once on the way back. We difinitely spent more time in the car than out of it last week.

We went to a barbeque an hour round trip. On tuesday we went to a pottery warehouse, an hour there. Afterward we went to Amish country another two hours. We went through Davenport, got pictures with the biggest basket in the world. Amish country was nice. We mostly went for the popcorn. Amazing little tiny "lady finger" popcorn. My mom got 100 pounds of it. yumhundred! We also bought strawberries that kill the dull life instantly. don't know how they did, but did they did. And some fruit turnover pies. Everything should be made by the amish. Let's make an ammendment.

My mom's lame-o van is new and smooth and it always makes me car sick. Two hours back home. But not before we stop about five more times. One stop was the longest covered bridge in ohio. Can't plan a trip anywhere without a dozen unplanned stops. That's just a given. As given as getting a late start every day. Day one we "planned" to leave 2:00pm at the latest. 6:00pm. Not kidding. And anyway, I was feeling unhealthy the whole trip. Car sick for one. Eating fast food for two. Nasty tap water and no water bottles. I almost died. It was humid 90% or more and 80 or 90 degrees along with that. talk about rivers of sweat. go ahead, talk about 'em. could be an interesting conversation in the end.

On Wednesday we went to Cedar Point. Big ol' amusement park on Lake Erie. Also went to the United States' last existing Copper Kettle museum where they still make them by hand. That was such a cool place. Called.....picking & co? or something. Those kettles will cost you a pretty copper penny. a little tiny like 20oz one costs $80 dollars. but it was sweeeeeet! it's hundreds of years old and all that, and there were little trinkets from the first owner's personal life -- flame powered fans, rocking horse, a giant "monkey turning music box" thing, just amazing old things. I loved it. I love stories and each one of those had a great one, I'm sure.

The amusement park was 5 hours round trip. We also went to a lighthouse and a flavored popcorn store. It's weird to taste your "competition" and realize yours is soooo much better. Just in fact, not in my opinion, though both confirm.

My uncle graduated from medical school on Thursday. I am grateful for doctors!!!!!!! He has a devotedly organized wife. Devoted to him, and organization fully. And together they have four interesting adorable kids. Emily
(named after her brilliant foremother-cousin), Lindsey (who spells her name correctly...and infact in a perfect mirror image of the left-to-right version with her left hand. She's ambidexterous. She's a sass, too. fiesty, that one), Jack (named after grandpa, born early/miracle baby, sports fanatic), and Kate (adorable times a million, I'm her favorite).

And anyway, I had a wonderful time in Ohio. Thinking back, I missed water the most. Water, water in the air, everywhere, but not a drop to drink. So, the end.

Up to Date

Howdy. Here are a few things that have been through my brain lately.

School buses aren't yellow. Lemons are, post-it notes are, boogers when you're sick are....but school buses aren't. Lines on the road, the double solid lines, ya know, aren't yellow. They're school bus colored. And school buses are the color of macaroni and cheese. Or easy squeeze cheese. Velveeta. Not yellow.

But still, those cheesy colors are quite noticeable. You'd think. People are so dumb. I'm really just amazed at who's allowed to drive. Parents are the mostly dumb. There was a parent stopped, waiting for his one pimply kid, in my spot. A spot that says "bus loading only." So, I boxed him in. I'm sick of it. Tell your nasty kid to meet you somewhere else. I've got 60 kids to load, you have one. Who's more important? Me, that's right. He inched his way out of my trap, but not before he called me a pretty name. The name of a place he can kiss for all I care. Which is none. None caring.

Make room for me. I accelerate slowly, yes. But I DO come to a stop slowly. I understand you don't want to be caught behind my exhaust dumping, butt-slow mode of transportation, but cutting me off is unwise. I'm patient, but I have power. I get your license plate and I could accuse you of much. Just be careful. But again, I'm patient. And again, no caring.

My mom bought cheap toilet paper. You know how tissues for your boogers come in layers? Even cheap tissues come in layers. If you peeled that tissue to it's last thread of whatever it is, that's our toilet paper. Worse than that of churches, or restaurants, or back-of-a-tour bus bathrooms. But it is better than nothing....kind of.

Twistie ties are valuable. It used to be that I'd throw them away like stale pretzels. Now since I use them, a lot of them, and never can find enough, I save them wherever I see them. Even where I won't ever use it, I save it. They are dear to me now. It's strange.

It's funny how my body refuses to get hungry since my throat is sore. Swallowing hurts. So my stomach must be friends with my throat (they have a special connection) because I'm not hungry so I don't have to swallow. I'm sick, I can't swallow, I'm not hungry. I'll probably lose some weight again.

I've been seeing the time 10:01 a lot lately. Never on purpose. It's cool, as it's a numerical palindrome, but my favorite is still mysteriously 9:23.

And that's it for now, more or less. Good times as a bus driver! I get to drive a field trip today! huzzah.

Random Conversation

Em: "Do you think cannibals drink urine?"

Ty: "I don't know. It seems it would be the beverage of choice."

What a day

It's April 6th, right? Right. I say it's not supposed to snow on April 6th, right? Of course I'm right. But it snowed anyway. It's sopping outside. Slush is piled on the roads and sidewalks. If it wasn't sleeting and freezing out, I'd go stomp them like I was a giant flattening mountains at leisure. I love how slush piles explode under foot. Lovely feeling of harmless destruction.

I went longboarding for the first time in my life on Monday!

These are a bunch of words that supposedly describe me! (bold totally describe me)

introverted, secretive, reclusive, tough, non social, observer, fearless, solitary, libertarian, detached, does not like to lead, outsider, abides the rules, mind over heart, good at saving money, does not like to stand out, does not make friends easily, self sufficient, not aggressive, likes the unknown, unconcerned with external opinion, strong, abstract, independent, very intellectual, analytical, high self control

I took a silly personality test. I disagree with whatever answers brought out "mind over heart." I can never get those two to get along. but the rest sound pretty good. I might add wonderful and funny, too, but you know, those tests are limited.

Good Night

I could die happy. Smelly, but happy. It's a beautiful 62 degree night with winds up to 20 mph. On a previous post I listed a few of my favorite things, one of which is jumping on the trampoline when it's windy. Tonight I did.

The wind knows my skinny arms won't take me higher than my legs will thrust me but still it swirled and held me high as long as it could. A slide show of heights and far away places I've never been swept around me, postcards from the wind. Jumping makes me younger. The wind slips into my lungs meaning to continue on its way but it propels my chest to sail in its wake. It escapes a bit drained and rolls on its way. I'm gratefully invigorated and steal breath after breath of flight. I cannot inhale forever, I cannot fly. My legs tired and I sat. I do not remember the bouncing, only flying; short visits in the sky. Breezes erase the sky's memory and my strange visits were each welcomed new.

I don't wish to really fly. I can be as the strong pine: planted and combing the wandering air. Flying without leaving the ground.

oh you know, whatever

My lips are about to plop on the ground because I've been eating sunflower seeds for more than an hour, sitting at my mom's shoe store, doing very little else. Soon I'll pop in the French CDrom things so I can hear what it sounds like to say such things as the alphabet or "please take [these sunflower seeds] away from me," etc. The salt is eroding my lips rather than preserving them. Just like eating too much pineapple. You don't want to stop because it's heaven's sweetest offering, but after too soon you no longer have a tongue to taste it with.
Tomorrow and Saturday I will be attending a writer's conference. They offer 8 workshop times with three optional classes of which I may only choose one. I'm sad because I want to create another of myself, lend it some brain and send it to the other classes I want to attend at the same hour as the other classes I will attend, but I can't. This calls for an "alas."
When I get back to blogging after those fun filled days I'll post the best piece of prose I ever have. I just know it. In the mean time, I'm going to sit here, at the store and think of a million other things I could post here. But since I'm bored, little boring pieces of me would filter through my fingers and type all the boring letters on the keyboard, and no one would be happy. So I'm going to leave. Eat. mmmm bon appetit!

Book Signing

I first started to peel an orange but I've made a terrible habit lately of biting my nails while my brain is occupied in something like reading or watching a movie. So, I can't peel it. plus, my sister concurs, these oranges we have are just a lot of work moreso than usual oranges. anyway.

I once had a splendid dream that I wrote a book that people loved and I was at a book signing for it. The feeling in my dreams was great, but I can imagine it's just even better in real life. I went to an "author talk and signing" last night that featured Shannon Hale. She signed the two books I've read of hers, Goose Girl and Princess Academy. You can get hooked on the first chapter of her books at squeetus.com. I really like her books, and, as much as I can like someone I don't really know, her. She's funny. I told her the beautiful story of how I came to discover her. "I found your books through your husbands "dreadcrumbs," he's......interesting. And funny. I Found that through Cody McComas." She said the McComas family is great. So anyway, she's my most recent hero. I admire her cuz really, I want to be even half like her, but mostly quite a lot like her. I want to get published. That would be fun. But.....I've got the vision, i just don't work for it. listen to this:

Work without vision is drudgery
Vision without work is dreaming
Work coupled with vision is destiny.
-Thomas S Monson

I sure like that quote. It's truly reminding me to just go for it, work for it. That's what I'm doing with popcorn. so fun still. i'm gonna make green popcorn today. lime, green apple, sour apple, anything else too and I'll just color it uncharacteristically green. Happy st. patty's day friends!

The Day After

I slept well enough. I think one of my dreams had Jesus in it, but I don't remember why or what He was doing. My eyes were heavy; their lids like over-cooked noodles. First thing, I made my bed and prayed. Second, I went to the bathroom. I noticed I'm wearing green underwear. That means it's Thursday. The water didn't get warm while I washed my hands and I went upstairs to eat. No eggs. Okay, then oatmeal. And brown sugar and some maple flavor, and a banana while the water and oats microwave together. And I almost cried.
I started to eat the mush, my mom was on the phone. She sat down to talk to me. Then I cried. One serving of oats is much too much mash for me on any morning, but I finished it so I didn't have to look up. Frozen rain carcasses fluttered to the ground joining the first three inches outside. The dogs wrestled in the carnage.
I had ten batches of popcorn to start so I went to get ready for that. I washed my face and changed my clothes and put on some shoes and earrings. I wore my gold watch all day.
It took me an hour to have everything in one place to start popcorn. I got three batches done on my own before my mom joined me. While alone, I had to clench my teeth or bite my lip to keep from crying. See, I can't bite my eyes and I'm not sure how to clench them either, if even that could prevent rather than produce tears. In the silence I started humming songs from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. That made me think of giant bean bags. Those made me think of big strong muscles and being tickled nearly inside-out. That made me think of working out at the gym. And the silence around me could only distract me to thoughts of the popcorn in front of me. And that made me think of my favorite taste-testing guinea pig. That thought would always make me clench my teeth.
Driving around I only noticed large gold Chevy trucks or small blue Honda Civics. (And as usual any twin of my gold Saturn.) I noticed the snow, too. That made me think of my favorite snow shoveler.
At 1:13pm my phone pulsed and chimed and my heart took a hurried tour through my intestines. I opened the phone and text message. It was from Tom, though.
I completed the popcorn like a professional, really. It took us a total six hours. Close to 25 pounds of popcorn. It's for a wedding on Saturday. The wedding planner is doing the whole reception for free. I told her I'd count this as a practice run since it's the first wedding we've done popcorn for. She refused. I accepted her refusal. She's the kind of lady that won't be refused. And I'm not one to ever combat when someone says "no, really." So, don't offer me your last bite hoping you'll get a refusal. I don't do that and I'll take your last bite.
My back hurts and I'm love sick.

Gourmet World

I'm now in the gourmet popcorn business....almost. The business is starting up just barely. It's loads of fun. I don't get passionate about too many things in my life, I've noticed, but this is incredible. I haven't even been discouraged or had any dreadful thoughts. The world will be a happier place with popcorn in the flavors of rootbeer float, peach, peara, PB&J, pink lemonade, butter rum, strawberry, raspberry, cream, etc. Many flavors are being created quite nicely. So far rootbeer is the family hit! So anyway, it's just beginning and I'm excited, and I haven't blogged in a long while. That's that for now

A Valentine's Day

I'm somebody's valentine, and today is a day.
However, the boy that makes me a valentine (whom I really really really really like) and I, broke up. But we still really really really like each other. I just have to focus on other areas of my life. We swapped gifts (he got me purple roses, my absolute favorite, and I made him oatmeal cookies, his only favorite cookie), and hugged and chatted and laughed when we realized we couldn't kiss and he left. Now I'm blogging. I don't know what else I'll do today. Rent a sappy movie, probably. I did shower, which says a lot since I hadn't in three days. Gross, huh. Well, there's no one to impress.

While I've been on the internet for a few minutes now, and my internet is slow, between moving from page to page, I pick at a scab on my shin. The scab is a red, flaky island upon a bruised shin sea. I was wearing short heels (like high heels, but the heels weren't high, you see) on super bowl Sunday. I was yelled at to come quick, which called-from destination was down the stairs. I was wearing white stretchy type pants. I switch from skirt to pants after church is over sometimes. I like wearing pants over shaved legs. I feel skinnier. So anyway I scuttled to the down stairs and the short heel of my right leg caught in the pants of my left leg and gravity started me down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs is a dead end. You must choose left or right. There's also a mirror hanging on that wall, but unfortunately I didn't look in it as I fell. I was too busy trying not to die by broken neck. If I'd known I would miraculously survive, I would have watched myself in the mirror.
As my shin sled down the stairs and a whoop of a scream fled my lips, somehow my other leg was released from the culprit short heel and it shot out in front of me and landed square in the hall. That safe landing happened also on a foot clad with short heel and I'm amazed I landed without breaking my ankle. I stood and laughed. Why not laugh first if I just evaded serious injury or death? That's the best thing to do at any time. Excepting perhaps the Pope's funeral march. And we probably won't have to worry about that for a while, so laugh on.
I was safe but injured. My shin was skinned. Later I looked at the inside of my white pants and peeled off a thinly rolled, squishy piece of me. It's been more than a week and now the scab is starting to itch. At this stage it's the nastiest when fresh from the shower. It's kinda slimy and the dying skin comes off like rubber cement. As I pick at it when it's dry some of it comes off like dry glue and I hardly notice its departure. Some of it's still deeply healing so I don't wanna yank it yet. The rest that comes off with my pestering kinda helps relieve the itch.
Aren't bodies amazing?
Yeah. And this is my day as a broken up valentine.

It was a small world

I was reading through a bunch of scenarios in this game called "Mind Trap." Most of them are pretty lame (Q: if a plane crashes exactly on the border of Canada and the U.S. where do they bury the survivors? A: You should know that it's quite savage to bury people (survivors) alive...), etc. Well, one of them asked something like if you built a huge concrete something that weighed a trillion tons, how much would the earth gain in weight.... The answer is none, cuz the concrete was made with materials from the earth. I thought that one was stupid too. But it made me think later of something I liked. I thought of something that perhaps has made the world heavier over time. I believe in the Adam and Eve approach to human infestation of Earth. So, even though babies grow inside tummies of mommies, they come out and grow to be heavy. Then they die and their bodies are buried in Canada and the U.S. respectively. So, first they come from Heaven, not from Earth..... But their bodies don't leave after death. So do you think that's made the earth heavier? Or would that even affect the weight of the earth? Am I missing anything? Am I just dumb and like my own ideas a lot?

This is SO true

Your Pimp Name Is...

Sugar Lips Slick

What's Your Pimp Name?

I sure could go for something that made me vomit and then pass out. It would solve my problems of being nauseous and awake. The thing is, I don't drink and hopefully never will. All right. I guess this was pointless

What I Am

Sick. very sick. i've felt vomitous only a couple times; this sickness is using more my throat as a breeding ground. It's a garden for bacteria and/or viruses, hoeing, raking, planting, festering. It hurts to yawn, swallow and sometimes even talk. I have this disgusting spit jar next to my bed. It really smells not good. If you look at it up close you can see swirling saliva dancing with "floatie" fragments of something....It's so gross.

My lovely friend Ty got me a jamba juice (peach pleasure with strawberries instead of bananas--so good, my favorite) with immunity boost mixed in. I swallowed it delicately and when I just couldn't take any more down, I'd put it down and start a-spittin. Right now luckily there's a garbage can a head's turn away for my mouth to forcibly drool into. It's not like spitting so much. Remember when your brother would pin you down and release slimy spit above your horrified face and let it lower slowly until hopefully whipping it back behind his lips-repeat? That's more what I'm doing as I spit.

My body aches too. Sometimes when I wake up my entire body is in a cold sweat. Every pore tingling with wet discomfort. I have never experienced that before. My spine feels like it's twisting and grinding against itself. My neck is swollen like a body builder's. I even took pictures of my sore throat but decided not to make you suffer that. My nose is basically clear. Did you know I can't hock (?) a loogie? I've never been able to get my snot from nose to mouth. I swallow it. but, since swallowing is the last thing my body desires, I'm able to get alarming amounts of snot out of my body if it can't leave by blowing out the nostrils. My knees kinda hurt too. Oh, that jamba juice. it was put in the fridge while I fell asleep again and when my dad opened the fridge and saw it, he ordered my little sister to drink the rest since it couldn't fit in there. So poor her.

Shoot. I'm going to bed. I'm scorching on the inside. I took tylenol pm since the NyQuil was making me sleep like i was in a tornado of nightmares. Good night

Changes

my sister is on the right, me and my old eyebrow shape are on the left (boy does my nose look big)

I've apparently just discovered how to put pictures on my blog. Took me long enough.

I am nearly obsessed about my eyebrows. Death to you if you touch them to try to mess them up. "Mess them up?" Yes, it's possible. Like when eyebrow hairs point where they shouldn't.... Anyway, it's probably weird, but it's part of my part of weirdness. Recently I took a paranoid risk and changed the shape of my eyebrows and I mostly love it! It's not a big change (you may not be able to see a difference; tust me, they're different), but I'm having a hard time making them look exactly the same. Probably no one but me will notice. Anyway, I'm so excited there's (mental capacity for) pictures on my blog now!