The mad Shientist surveyed for ingredients.
‘Long brown hair, a must.
New in town or bust.
Speaking of bust, a good one of those, please.’
Sensing the surest possibilities
He anxiously began his experiment.
‘Excellent. Here's the fail-proof plan:
Monday: Take brown-eyed short to dinner
Tuesday: Swim with green eyes; she's thinner
Wednesday: Call them both and cuddle with blue-eyed
Thursday: Take tall n' tan girl for a (car) ride
Friday: Call them all, and ask out brown-eyed short again
Saturday: Keep open; further intrigues may begin.
This will reveal that I am a fail-proof man.’
Then one day in this small surveyed town,
Blue-eyed talked to green eyes
Who'd talked to short brown eyes
Who'd seen tall n' tan leaning so far in
To Shim like she was part of his skin.
Fail-proof would now get some of his own.
Monday: leave him knocking at the door
Tuesday: drop him when he asks for more
Wednesday: cuddle with another
Thursday: ask out his brother
Friday: all four show up to watch him squirm
Saturday: let him dangle like a worm.
The dangling Shientist’s disbelief swelled,
His experiment had gone terribly sour.
He was supposed to have retained all the power.
But clearly his theory had all but come true
(That women would crave him and not have a clue
How well his true self unfailingly repelled
Well, everyone).
There are other fish in the ocean
Not sea sick with a false notion
That their particular motion,
Emotion or loco-motion,
Is solely needing devotion
From everyone.
The moral of his story, then
Is if you spread yourself so thin
Perceiving you're made of enough that's divisible
You’ll only successfully end up invisible.
