* I am a writer of the Real Life Department, 24th district.
* You are under observation.
* You have the right to remain silent.
* Anything you do or say can and will be used for my own purposes in a future story of mine.
* You have the right to talk to anyone and it is preferable if others are present with you during observations.
* If you cannot actually afford an entertaining entourage, one will be fictitiously appointed for you if I so desire.
* If you become aware that I am observing you, you have the right to end the scrutiny at any time.
* Do you understand each of these rights as I have explained them to you?
* With these rights in mind. . .just beware.
