All I'm Not Going to Say

The moment she made the suggestion, I felt good; I felt I needed to say yes and somehow wanted to say yes.
You called and I felt nervous, and confident.
I saw you and my heart jumped just a little.
From the moment I saw the length of you stride I felt I could be perfectly at ease in myself, so that's what I've been.
I have felt this way before, but deeper; I don't really know you. I met a guy that I clicked with the same way in the beginning. He was my boy friend that I had let become my best friend, but we ran out of common goals and had to bring it to an end. I didn't think I'd ever feel that way with someone else.
But I felt like that with you, date one, date two.
If I've seemed too forward, in my defense, you make me feel the way that releases those actions. I'm a very 'one man woman' and when I feel a certain way, affection naturally accompanies my actions. So although I may have given the impression that I move fast, I actually don't. But I felt so immediately natural in your presence that this side of me that reserves itself for just one someone that I've known longer and am ready to know better came out.
I can control myself though. Whatever you need to do you should do. I won't let my feelings be influenced by what you're feeling. . .until you tell me what you're feeling. Same for my thoughts by what you're thinking until you tell me what you're thinking. At least, I try. . .
I just like you. That's all. I'm interested, I'd like to know you more.
It's not elementary; I want to send more than a candy heart message.
It's not high school; I drive that to school every morning and take it home every afternoon.
It's just a chance to know you and a chance to be known.
So far, just a spark. No real danger.
I guess that's all I'm not going to say.

Randomblings

I went to a new grocery store in town. It's fine. I wandered around, scoping out the goods and not so goods and found about everything I wanted and more things that I'd forgotten I wanted, all except avocados. The line of available cashiers looked at my approaching cart longingly for the chance to be the one to pass its contents over their scanners. I didn't pay attention to the bagger, really, but I'll never forget him (although I wouldn't be able to point him out to you, if you come with me, if I go again). I bought two tomatoes, two gallons of milk, one bag of green grapes, some meats, some yogurt, a box of Ritz crackers, a bag of frozen berries, Febreeze and Comet...the bagger didn't put the two gallons of milk in a bag and yet when the final count came up, I had 15 items and ten plastic grocery bags. The tomatoes were in a bag by themselves, as well as the small bag of berries. They're bag happy at Buy Low! Or maybe they just haven't taught their baggers well.

While on the bus I saw a girl in another car mouthing (so I assume she was singing) the words to the song on the radio station playing in my own ears. It was funny.

Since I've been in this bus, there has been a DC sticker stuck on part of the front engine compartment. So today since it's cold I've been wearing a beanie, but it's like a fancy white one that looks hand made and all, but this girl asks me if I'm a skater as she looks at the sticker. I say, "oh, no. I don't know who put that sticker there." Pause. "Well, you look like one." A laugh jumped out of my mouth and I smoothed it out with a smile. If you only knew...me on a skate board.

I 'saved' $4000 on a thing that I'm not saving $1500 for, all by practicing patience. So in other words, I'm not paying $5500, but only $1500, because I'm a quiet and well practiced patient person. Love when that pays up.

I have had like 8 dates in 3 weeks. It's nearly killing me. At any rate, I'm myself on each date, so I've felt like I've been spreading myself thin. I'm much more of a one man woman. There is one in particular that I like best. He should call me again.

My roommate left to France for ten days and for some reason I've exploded in our room...It's messy. Hasn't been that way for a long time. Don't worry. I'll clean it.

Well, that seems good enough.