Hooray!

There's a written test at the DMV in Anchorage, AK that I had to take in order to get my CDL learners permit so I could start driving big ol' motor coaches around town. Yesterday, Thursday, the last day of June I passed the test. It wasn't written, exactly because it's touch screen...but I touched enough of the right multiple choice answers to pass. Third time's a charm... Watch out Alaska roadsters.

p.s. I haven't taken a shower all month. ;)

I'm sitting here

I have on white capris with no back pockets, a black undershirt that is about five inches longer than the gray t-shirt over it, and I'm sitting here. The clothes on my body cover the skin that covers and keeps together all my insides from gushing forth and spilling all over the keyboard, table and carpet. Inside my skin there's a place that thinks really hard and makes my decisions. Today I dressed in honor of that place. Always, in order to make a decision there has to be a choice between two or more things. Most usually the choice is black or white. Gray matter makes all my black and white decisions for me.

I'm sitting here in front of this computer and the computer is sitting in front of a window with a dirty window sill. Crusty bug body casings and dust and dirt form a soft layer across the wood sill. (Could we call it sillt?) There's a really big flying ant that is attempting skull crushing dives to the outside world through the window. With each take off a puff of dust rolls like dry waves across the sillty beach.

Next to the speaker a fly just landed. It's now rubbing its front legs together, but first it was itching its butt and wings with its back legs. I remember almost killing a fly once but all I succeeded in doing was smearing its butt guts everywhere, but it still flew away. I bet it died eventually. Especially since that was probably over a year ago when it happened.

Speaking of a year ago, I was in a crappy relationship. It ended July 13, 2004 on his birthday. He got his birthday kiss from another girl.

The fly is still there. What is it doing? They're so disgusting.

a one and a two and a one two three...

I slid from the un-epiduraled body of a great lady who has fantastic food storage supplying habits on June 8, 1984 at 4:36pm in Torrance, California. More than 21 years this heart has been pumping. Once it was broken. More than 21 years this brain has been snapping. More times than it could ever count it has mapped me through uncharted experiences, for each second that comes is new to be sorted and filed or discarded.

How many:
times have my lungs delivered air to my blood?
people have I forgotten?
miles have I spread my long stride over the ground?
tons of food have I eaten?
gallons of water have been filtered through my kidneys?
tears have I cried?
times has my nose passed a flower that needed considering?
laughs has my life inspired?
cuts, bruises, scrapes, bandaids?
dollars would I have if I was suddenly refunded all the money I ever spent on candy before the age of 15?
lies have I told?
thoughts have I formed into words?

Land of the Midnight Sun

Sure, some people go to Hawaii for the summer to get that greaaaaat tan and because it's so beautiful and the natives sing sweet sultry tunes with their ukeleles...but what these people don't realize is how puny those islands are and how few bears, moose and caribou there are and they definitely don't have eskimos on street corners holding cardboard signs and how if you really want a tan you need lots of sun, right? Well, baby, where I'm going the sun hardly stops during the summer. And anyway, I might not blog for a while, not that all ye many that read my blog will be broken hearted not to see lame comments keep showing up. But I'll.....miss you all when I'm fishing while sun bathing at 11:00pm between a moose and a griz. lata

If falling down the stairs didn't hurt, I'd fall down them all the time.

My Webster

Every once in a while I'll find myself a word that isn't in any current dictionary (see the name of my blog...) and I really think it should be. Here are a couple of examples:

The latest:
Scandalism-how great would that be?

Smeft-blind people can't see, deaf people can't hear, smeft people can't smell...

easlier-just a slimy way of saying "more easily"

and i also think "ness" should be a word by itself, meaning exactly what it means on the end of any word as "-ness", meaning the state, quality, condition or degree of something, but sometimes it just seems so appropriate by itself.

That's all for now.

I am willing to be wrong except when I'm right.

I like shopping car(t)s

*my brother said "'Walmarts is'"? quoting me after reading this, claiming a grammatical error. I'm an english major. I don't make grammatical errors. So to explain, a few of us in my family call WalMart "WalMarts" at all times whether plural or not.*

you know what I think?
McDonalds and WalMarts are taking over the world
slowly
every WalMarts has a McDonalds or two inside
and then another in the far end of the parking lot
Independent of McDonalds, Walmarts is huge
what I think will happen is that pretty soon Walmarts will be so everywhere that no one will have to drive to WalMarts anymore
and then they will make the WalMarts stores bigger cuz they won't need parking lots. what people will do is get souped up shopping carts.
they'll install small sound systems inside the handles that you can plug earphones into
giving a whole new meaning to the dance move "the shopping cart"
cuz you can groove it, bass rocking the heartbeat of the cart, as you move it down the isle toward the check out stand or McDonalds
and some people will go so far as to get bigger wheels, jacked up
shiny chrome rims, spinning on the side
Headlights?
yeah
why not? Vacuums have lights on them (a feature that's always pleased me)
for the extravagant parent, the kiddie seat will be recline-able
a cushy leather seat
with a belt like they have in race cars. why not add a stick shift thingy while you're at it. Oh, that would be cool. Standard shopping carts with gears...
Walmarts would start selling shopping handle covers. Oh, please incorporate rear/side view mirrors, somehow.
Cup holders! oh, yes definitely. That way you can drink and drive at the same time, and eat and drive. cuz I know that would be something I'd miss not being able to - to drive from the McDonalds at the end of the(what used to be)parking lot to my coveted parking spot, like 17 "rows" away from the front, while eating my big mac.
Padded interior, extra storage, fold away seats, air conditioning, built in dvd player, elliptical-powered so you can exercise while you shop...pretty much, we wouldn't even need homes.
But, the "cart collector" would lose his job...
Anyway, just you wait and see....and anyway, let's say WalMarts doesn't take over the world....why not have incredible, awesome shopping carts anyway? I like shopping carts.

Regardless of how you start out, you don't have to end up anything but dead.

Super Read

Jeffrey R. Holland "For Times of Trouble" New Era, 1980, 6

I listened to this rebroadcast itself on the radio. It was super duper. You might check it out!