Mom practice

It's 11:30.
That's really no time to write a 17 paragraph paper with/for my little sister on Romeo and Juliet. It kinda makes me want to practice being a terrible procrastinator -- that is, practice being organized. The real test will be when I start school again....something that hasn't happened to me in about 5 years. That's kind of intimidating.

Kind of like dating. In dating I'm all about being myself, but usually that's rather un-entertaining. Well, to me, no. I love myself! Unfortunately, not everyone esteems me as I do. And that's okay. Or life really would be boring. I like being true to myself, and changing, even momentarily, is unfamiliar and unwanted.

For example, I have never been one to take risks--be it risks of any kind, even ones that aren't risky. Like refusing to make certain noises when requested. First off, that's too much on-the-spot pressure. Second, it's often unimpressive to he that requests it, so why do it? Is he maybe just seeing how easily pressured I can be? lame.

Otherwise there's things like singing or dancing or playing certain Wii sports that unnerve me in the presence of certain others, and I don't take the risk. The risk of revealing what I know to be...quite contentedly unrevealed. I'm not trying to hide anything. I just like helping others.

One day I'll get married. I do believe that will be a helpful thing for the lucky man.

After that, on other days, new arrivals change a lot of things, ready or not. I imagine having kids can't really be compared to dating, but being myself will one day not be esteemed as cool by them either. There's a good chance I won't change a whole lot anyway. Making funny noises--that will increase. My children will see the real me, ready or not.

In this scattered thought process, what I'm really trying to say is, I'm glad I'm not married yet. I think. Yeah, that sounds good.